Burrow Dweller T-Shirts

'Look, if you didn't want to move down here with Fluffy, why didn't you say so?'

"Cripes! I can't even see the end of my nose. Coffee first, then I'll look for my damn shadow."

The Art Student.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Spooning

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

Upper West Side Story

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Dear Folks, it's lonely at the top.

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Student Food Pyramid

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

"Hard to believe this was all rain forest just fifteen years ago."

Tortured Plank

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Biting Slippers.

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

"Thank you."

It was going to be a subdivision, but they ran out of snow. Chilly Hills Estates.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."