Burgundy Believer Gifts

Claret

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

Fairy Vet

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

Big bumpers.

Two of everything.

'Hurry! There's not a moment to lose.'

"Do you have experience delivering anything other than eggs?"

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

"I don't want to sound desperate, but either you transform me with a kiss or I end up dissected in a ninth-grade science lab."

"I think it's time you ditched the phoney crown and admitted to yourself that princess or no princess, you'll always be a frog."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

The Fountain of Youth.

"So tell me, what is it about your life that isn't making sense to you?"

'I'm Frog, formerly known as Prince.'

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

'I was a spoiled little brat of a prince: Being turned into a frog and falling in love with you is the best thing that has happened to me...'

Princess believes one kiss will turn the crocodile into a handsome Prince.

"With the wearing of this mystic talisman, you will never be plagued by any of the minor ailments usually handled by over-the-counter drugs!"

"The other fairy does glass."

"But is it Organic?"

'The global economy is fragile and mysterious, folks... kind of like Tinkerbell in 'Peter Pan.' When people stopped believing in the magic, Tinkerbell almost died. So it's up to us to invent a better supernatural creature to believe in!'