Bureaucracy Romantic Gifts

Groundwater Impact Study

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

Wolf Reintroduction.

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

MI5 Press Office

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Director: US Space Research.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

Auditor General.

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

'I'll need four character references.'

Washington Monuments

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

'You like it? I'm getting a government grant for Phase 2.'

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

Man at desk in 'Space research'. His in and out boxes are labelled 'inner' and 'outer'.

'Do you want to see the folks from Prague all at once?' - 'No - separate Czechs, please.'

"Congratulations Dave, after a through vetting process, we've selected you for the promotion."

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

"The war's been cancelled. It would raise insurance rates."

Danger! Snake heaven.

Federal Department of Disproportionate Force.

'Teaching, reading, writing, and arithmetic sounds like a good idea. Let me run it by an educational focus group.'

Man in office notices file cabinet placed in front of the door to the Planning Department.