Bunk Bed Enthusiasts Pillows

'So, which one of you sleeps in the top bunk?'

Jogging Bottoms

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

"Hey Google, describe the view."

Monster fixing boy's car bed.

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

Safe harbour

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'Marcie has her own way of cooking ribs low and slow--she takes them with her to the tanning salon.'

'Could you guys do your bungee jumping somewhere else?'

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

Four beds labelled modern, abstract, surreal and cartoon

Kid in bed to mom: How come third graders don't get a personal day?

'Are you sure now is the best time to buy an inflatable house?'

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

'And we don't discriminate against people of colour.'

"Flip you for the top bunk."

'I am preparing for 2013, and I suggest you do the same.'

'Well, would ya' look at this. Typical movers! I sure hope the kids are OK.'

'It's thundering, dad. Can I get under the bed with you?'

"I've made more than 4000 bungy jumps without any physical damage to my body!"

"O.K., doomer."

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

Today, our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington. In my day, we built bunkers ten feet underground and stocked them with tuna fish. We planned to sit out the apocalypse down there, eating tuna on crackers and playing Scrabble. Tomorrow, our quest continues ...

"I'll take the bottom bunk."

During the quieter periods, Lance and the boys would while away the hours by flicking bungee bands at passing aircraft.'

'Sorry we're late, we had trouble finding you.'

"When was this bed last serviced?"

'If global warming is real...how come your feet never get any warmer?'

Mother nailing child into bunk bed.

'John was passionate about extreme sports...' (A coffin on a bungee rope plummets towards an open grave)

Spending too much time in bed.

I trust you have planning permission! (Golfer in a bunker).