Bugged-out Humorist Pillows

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

Dummies for Dummies.

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

Preserved head and mobile phone.

STRIP Hambone: Computer smoke signals message from Indian office

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

'You can come back as a zombie OR a ghost, Randy, but not both.'

"What can I say? Tough split."

Genetically Modified Apples

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

'I don't know. . . Nobody has ever requested a doggy bag before. . .'

Fly having an idea.

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

Witch Rowing Team

"First, let me say how much I appreciate your 6-foot social distancing."