Bugged-out Humorist Pillows

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

Dummies for Dummies.

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

Preserved head and mobile phone.

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer smoke signals message from Indian office

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

Genetically Modified Apples

'I don't know. . . Nobody has ever requested a doggy bag before. . .'

'Since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell. It's not in the pie or the baby's prunes - it's on 'Heartbreak Motel' Oh baby, so lonely...'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'You can come back as a zombie OR a ghost, Randy, but not both.'

"What can I say? Tough split."

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Fly having an idea.

Witch Rowing Team

Pizza's here!