Budgeting Master Pillows

'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'

'I've come home on time, and within a revised budget.'

'The good news is we've finally turned the corner. The bad news is, no government bailout.'

"The toy only cost $1.99, but mom had to spend $20 on shears just to open the packaging."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'