Budgeting Pro Pillows

'I put gas in the car...How can we make ends meet when one of them is in Saudi Arabia?'

'I don't have the budget surplus ON me, dummy!'

"Does it not gladden the heart to see Lowry adapt so well to our new low overhead policy?"

"There's very little an individual store can do about rising food prices, Mom!"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"Who's got the hammer?"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

The Not-So Smart Meter