Budget Manager Pillows

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

"What comes after zillion?"

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"Managing further cuts to tight budgets is a challenge! So this training will give you a pratical insight into how to 'maximise returns from limited resources'!"

'We're pretty sure we've got all the right figures, we're just not sure what order to put them in!'

"This is the captain - we're anticipating a slight change of course."

"Money will be no object when it comes to lowering our expenses."

"If the goat's giblets float to the top...about £350,000."

"Our capital investment budget wouldn't stretch to replacing you with a proper good robot."

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

'And so it looks like another bad month, as the data continues its downward trend.'

You have 17 creditors that won't get paid this month. Eighteen, including yourself.

'How much of your budget goes for defense?'

'This is just a thought, but maybe we could try animated anchormen.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"Is the budget forecast that bad?"

'Actually, we don't understand our budgetary needs, Sam. Every time we try to discuss it, you burst into sobs.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"Who's got the hammer?"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.