School Budget Manager Pillows

'The recurring poor enrollment prognostications plays havoc with our school district's budget. What will next year's enrolment be.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

'The good news is we've finally turned the corner. The bad news is, no government bailout.'

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Smart card.

"What comes after zillion?"

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

Economy.

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

Teacher's Inbox: In One Ear/Out The Other

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'