Budget Wedding Planner Gifts

"Are you quite sure Barbara's receptive to an inexpensive wedding?"

"Be honest, you only brought me here to save the cost of hiring outfits for our wedding tomorrow!"

"Will you marry me in a low-cost ceremony in which we get your friends to make the cake and do the flowers?"

Lesbian civil partnership.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'He does.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'I always cry at weddings!'

"...until death do you a favor."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'