Budget Travel Consultant Pillows

'Okay, we'll meet six sharp, at the rail yard!'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

'He must be going economy!'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

World's cheapest car

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

Expensive greeting cards.

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Airline Mergers.

"Gee, Dave, a proposal to balance the budget wasn't really what I was expecting."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Basic economy

"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"