Budget Travel Consultant Pillows

'Okay, we'll meet six sharp, at the rail yard!'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

'He must be going economy!'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

World's cheapest car

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Airline Mergers.

"Gee, Dave, a proposal to balance the budget wasn't really what I was expecting."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Europe on $5000 a day.

"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'