Budget Slicer Pillows

"And the Lord said, 'They shall gradually, so as not to cause unemployment, beat their swords into plowshares.'"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Wow, my own desk!'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"If we were a business - rather than a government - we'd be bankrupt!"

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

"The company must save money. That's why we've got to be easy on the carpet."

Realty. Remember

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn.

"Raising the debt ceiling is a ponzi scheme!"

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

'Good news I'm ten percent under budget.'

Number 2 in a series of unlikely events: "There's more money in the budget than we know what to do with so you don't need to ask me every time you just need to spend a few hundred quid."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

Percentage Lifetime Income.

'He joined the party in support of the police cuts.'