Budget Slasher Pillows

'This could save us a bundle on electricity...by the way, Bob, how fast can you run?'

'Great work, Bigsley, on saving the company three hundred thousand on clysdale contract. Take the rest of the day off.'

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Fries and kids

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

Oil shock.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.