Price Slashers Pillows

Pound shop - 99p Land - 98p World.

"Dear customers, we are pleased to announce that in five minutes, everything in store will be drastically reduced."

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

The Affordable Shredder

"Everything's gone up."

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

Unusual Offers

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

"Moreover, profits double if we move in with our parents."

Capitalism gone nuts!

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

Seasonal shopping.

'It's so expensive because it doesn't do as much as other computers and it's harder to use.'

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go...we've just sourced somebody in Mumbai who's 34% better at being you for 29% less!'

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."