Budget-friendly Solutions T-Shirts

'I'm knitting a cozy for the house.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Environmentalist Brainstorm

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

Sam's Nation Building

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

No Frills Psychiatrist.

'Private schools are really expensive these days - Why don't you home-school him?'

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

Wallpapering.

Unable to afford radar, the city keeps drivers honest with a blowdryer.

'This is what telemedicine looks like for a small practice like ours.'

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

The cost of Halloween.

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

"New super select-a-size! 1/2 sheet, 1/4 sheet, 1/8 sheet (make-up remover), 1/16 sheet (spider killer), 1/32 sheet (booger getter), 1/64 sheets (zit squeezers)."

'I don't care if this security software was a bargain; it shouldn't reply with 'close enough' when I enter the wrong password.'