Budget Clowning Pillows

Children are pulled in cart privided by the school contingency fuel fund.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Shake it all about sign on desk

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

Brainstorm in progress.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Have I complimented you on marketing's renewed team spirit?"

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

"HR think we need to look again at your recruitment strategy."

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

White Collar Crime.

Pecking order.

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

'I appreciate recognition...but pats on the head are demeaning.'

Boardroom cream pies.

'That's our corporate ladder.'