Budget Bride Pillows

"I'd like an engagement ring that declares my uncompromising love...for under fifty bucks."

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

Budget cure

Stay at home

Where Mom used to take you.

"I'd like an engagement ring that proclaims my uncompromising love - for under fifty bucks."

"Can you hurry up? My Uber will be here in 3 minutes."

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

Valentine's day skinflint.

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Another bottle? Do you think we can afford to open another can of tuna?"

"Will you marry me in a low-cost ceremony in which we get your friends to make the cake and do the flowers?"

'Y'know, I'm glad we kept it small.'

"That's the thing about online dating - it's addictive."

"This is of course a totally fake fur coat and ten thousand dollars is a lot of money, but quality and political correctness cost!"

"Our grey wedding dress is quite a smash with young women who have learned to say goodbye to unrealistic expectations."

This one's got power brakes, power steering, power windows and power payments!

"Thats where the party budget ran out."

"A MOHAWK is what I get for asking for an affordable hair cut?!"

"Remember, bring it all back within two weeks and I'll refund your deposit."

'I'm not trying to be romantic. I've had my electricity cut off.'

The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'

First dates are the worst. You get all dolled up - and for what?

May's guide to looking cheap on a budget.

'Cecil takes me to the museum every Saturday.' - 'What's he studying, economy?'

'Mr. President, the Post Office is going broke because the poor can't afford to buy postage.'-'No problem - we'll just issue them STAMP stamps!

'Sorry son, no pocket money. I've only a minimum wage.'

"Be honest, you only brought me here to save the cost of hiring outfits for our wedding tomorrow!"

Budget Toupee

"Are you quite sure Barbara's receptive to an inexpensive wedding?"

'Oh, these? These are my recession chinos.'