Budget Beauty Seeker Gifts

"And this is what we use for the economy liposuction."

Homeless man offering haircutting services.

"Botox."

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

'The old one fell apart.'

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

"You've taken those hideous curlers out, had a scrub up, shaved your legs. Looks like it's your lucky night babe."

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

Landscape artist

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Low income vampires.

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

Affordable housing

"I told you she'd had some work done."

Primavera (Spring)

"I'll bet you'd like me if I had curly hair."

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

Cosmetic surgeon tells Ugly Duckling: 'Of course, there's a POSSIBILITY that you are a swan, but do you want to take that risk?'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

"It says here that they have chopped down all the palm trees and blow up the rocks to make the place look more natural..."

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

I'd love to wallpaper our bedroom, but it's too expensive. Not necessarily. Teddy wallpapered his entire room. What?! D�cor. For the cost of a few dozen movie magazines. And a fortune in scotch tape. Rolling Stone.

"Supersize me."

'Plastic Surgery, come as you are and leave as you wish'

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

"I get my looks from my father...he's a plastic surgeon."

Caribou With Big Plans.