Budget Balancing Artist Gifts

"My accountant says I'm going through the five stages of denial about my financial situation."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

State Budget.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

House of books.

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

The economy and the environment.

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

"Yes, you do get your bonus today. My assistant is empty the change out of the vending machine as we speak."

Treading a fine lion.

The Costs Of Doing War.

Euro parachute is not keeping Europe aloft.

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

Run in the Family

Recession mathematical equation.

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

NHS targets.

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'