Buddhist Monks Pillows

"Nobody talks about transcender issues."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Showoff"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

"Hoarder."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Zenboni

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Meditation vs. Vegetation

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

Cable Bill.

A monk illuminating a book with quill pen

ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF

Do not ask if you are truly hitting yourself. Rather, ask why are you hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself. Guru Brothers.

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

Zen Master Huineng

Buddhist Center

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

Pray as you Go.

Sports Day at the Monastery

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'