Buddha Buddy Pillows

"The depth of your wrongness is so deep that it is unknowable."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

Butterflies

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"I think we have run out of time..."

"You dropped yer wallet."

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

'You reek of crackers.'

'Where are you going?'

Little boys

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."

'He followed me home! Can he hibernate here?'

'It's your round.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"I love college."

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

'I guess the transplant went ok - I just got a love letter from my new liver!'

'Fred, we've been together too long!'

Polar bears throwing snowballs at each other.

Signs you may be friends with a sheep....

Old School Mustaches

'This plumber you recommended...mate of yours, is he?'

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.