Browsing Buff T-Shirts

"No thanks, just browsing."

'Just look'in'

ANTIQUES: Buyers and Lookers

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Television Readers.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Audio Books

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Obsession with the Internet.

The discovery of asparagus.

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

7 Dwarves of Retirement

Moby Dick

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

There were originally four musketeers. He said that the pen is mightier than the sword.

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Myths and legends...

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Of Mice and Men.

Homo Zapiens

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Bible Bloopers

Fifty shades of Leveson.

Tunnel of TV

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.