Brother As A New Parent Gifts

"You didn't use the sealant you used on the boat on this diaper, did you?"

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

Groovy Baby

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

Newborns on cell phones

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

"You two are my parents? No offense, but I'd like a second opinion."

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

"Which one is yours?"

Baby restaurant

"That's my baby brother? Then why'd you eat him?"

'His vocabulary is tiny, but effective.'

"We're already wondering what her legacy might be."

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

"You mean my little sister could be a BOY?"

'This is my little brother -- He believes in freedom of screech.'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

'Well, I just followed them home and they ended up adopting me: You could try that too maybe..'.

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

'He's just been getting the baby off to sleep.'

Warning: No over-taking in birth canal.

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'

First Gear

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"Hey mom will you c'mere. . . I think Bobby ate one of my action figures!"

"My parents downloaded a newer version."

'I'm gonna tell Mom you ate a bad word!'