Brother As A New Parent Gifts

"You didn't use the sealant you used on the boat on this diaper, did you?"

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

Groovy Baby

"Technology is for babies!"

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

Newborns on cell phones

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"

"You two are my parents? No offense, but I'd like a second opinion."

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

Baby restaurant

"That's my baby brother? Then why'd you eat him?"

"Which one is yours?"

'His vocabulary is tiny, but effective.'

"You mean my little sister could be a BOY?"

'This is my little brother -- He believes in freedom of screech.'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

"We're already wondering what her legacy might be."

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

Good morning, Teddy! Ungh

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

'Well, I just followed them home and they ended up adopting me: You could try that too maybe..'.

'He's just been getting the baby off to sleep.'

First Gear

"Hey mom will you c'mere. . . I think Bobby ate one of my action figures!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Warning: No over-taking in birth canal.

"My parents downloaded a newer version."

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'