Broken Heart Club Member Pillows

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

'What zip code are we in now?'

ONE HORSE TOWN

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Drinking Companions

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"Oh no! You, again?"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

The Invention of Country Music.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

Snub Marine

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"Don't cry over her. There will be plenty of fish out of the sea."

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

"Recently separated."

'I HATE Spring cleaning!'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

'This time you hold the nail!'

Bill finally receives a celery commensurate with his responsibilities.