Broadcasting Barrister Gifts

Clive Anderson

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

Presenter Auditions.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'

"Welcome to 'All About the Media,' where members of the media discuss the role of the media in media coverage of the media."

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'If the following program sounds silly, it's because it's a a paid political announcement....'

'This is just a thought, but maybe we could try animated anchormen.'

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

"They want to see more snow on your hat next time. . . ."

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

TV News. Multiple drenching thunderstorms are forming over the region. What's your weather segment lead-in? "There's a soaker born every minute!"

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

'Hang on a minute - I think there's something else down here!'

'There's nothing wrong with the sound, lady, it's a Party Political broadcast, that's all.'