Broadcast Network Word Bleeper Gifts

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Decline And Fall Of Wolfman Quack

Penguins in the form of writing Pens

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"On your marks..."

'I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to try fresh sugarcane.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'Sorry, no credit, the only free spirit in here is my barmaid.'

'And that's not all, everyone in the audience today is going home with a brand new Buick!!! Oh wait...That's next Tuesday.'

Today, we'll talk with Professor Ernie about some lesser known units of measurement. Let's start with the "light-year." A 'light-year" is a unit of time measuring how long somebody stays on their diet. In most cases, it's counted in small fractions. No, a light year is a unit of length equal to the distance light travels in a year, about six trillion miles. What about the "angstrom"? The "angstrom" is a measurement of anxiety levels! Incorrect again. It's another unit of length --- It's

'You're listening to no repeat radio where we never play the same song twice! Yeah! No repeat radio! Where you'll never hear the same song twice! Only on no repeat radio!'

Angie Goff

'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'

"OK people, this one's for the blooper reel, so let's blow it out there."

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

Secateurs and non-secateurs

'Now, for the world from the street, we go to out embedded reporter...'

Sports update: Some teams won and some teams lost.

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

"You're my agent, tell me - what do I have to do to be taken seriously as an animal-bloopers-show host?"

Kaitlan Collins - Chief W. H. Correspondent CNN

"This Just In."

'And for those of you with weird brains, here is the financial news...'

"It says 'Available Now: The Greatest Bloopers of Your Life, available on Pay-Per-View or DVD!'"

"Oh...erm...welcome back!"

Barbarian

"I can't believe how COMPETITIVE the job market has gotten. The company I interviewed at today already has 16 employees who can burp the ABCs!"

PC World - Policemen's shop

"They don't prevent crime, but the videos make great blooper reels."