British Tv Aficionado Gifts

'Morcambe and Wise.'

Who's on First

Top Gear not cancelled - just resting

'It's not called 'deja vu' anymore, it's 'another chance to see'...'

Trivia Pursuit

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Television Readers.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"Downton Abbey Road"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''