British Healthcare System Follower Gifts

BMA survey reveals half of GP practices not fit for purpose

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

GP to cat - 'In view of the new polyclinic up the road, yes we are opening our books to new patients.'

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'Sure we're underfunded, but we manage!'

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

Annexe 8

'Get this, Dr. Melroy just asked my opinion.'

'Pick up your bed and walk woman, for the NHS is not long for this world.'

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

Obama-Health care reform

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

Joe Lieberman rehearses the Filibuster dance.

"He may be dead but according to this survey his paperwork is WORLD CLASS!"

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"Till Washington gets this healthcare issue figured out, Max here will be handling your procedure."

'Try not to think about your car-parking charges.'

'He'll need some blood thinner immediately, but go grab me a sandwich first.'

"We'd like you to be at breaking point seven days a week."

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."

'It's the new managements policy on how we persecute whistleblowers.'

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

'The DOH is targeting the problem of repeat prescriptions with some repeat proposals.'

"We need to make cuts...shall we start with the heart?"

Medical Group: Specializing In Treating The Insured.

The BMA tries to look a gift horse in the mouth

"Your health insurance only kicks in when you can run 100m in under 10 seconds."

"As a politician you probably understand that the pressures of my workload do not allow me to...do this slowly."