British Healthcare System Follower Gifts

BMA survey reveals half of GP practices not fit for purpose

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

GP to cat - 'In view of the new polyclinic up the road, yes we are opening our books to new patients.'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Sure we're underfunded, but we manage!'

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

'Get this, Dr. Melroy just asked my opinion.'

'Pick up your bed and walk woman, for the NHS is not long for this world.'

Annexe 8

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

Obama-Health care reform

Joe Lieberman rehearses the Filibuster dance.

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

"He may be dead but according to this survey his paperwork is WORLD CLASS!"

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"Till Washington gets this healthcare issue figured out, Max here will be handling your procedure."

'He'll need some blood thinner immediately, but go grab me a sandwich first.'

"We'd like you to be at breaking point seven days a week."

'Try not to think about your car-parking charges.'

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

'It's the new managements policy on how we persecute whistleblowers.'

Medical Group: Specializing In Treating The Insured.

'The DOH is targeting the problem of repeat prescriptions with some repeat proposals.'

"We need to make cuts...shall we start with the heart?"

'Well it's nice to see that waiting times have gone down.'

NHS parking meter being taken into A&E - 'It's been beaten up!'

GP leaders slam premises fee hikes as figures show practices owe £202 million.