British Banter Mugs

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"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'Three little kids and their first words. Can you find out which one is the British kid?'

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

Heart To Heart

"'Cheers'? 'Lorry'? 'Jumper'? You can talk, boy? And you're British??"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

A virtue of vicars

A rainy holiday in Bournemouth.

'Ok, ok, ok. Just tell me the title.'

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

'Here comes Ted.'

"Let's go bowling and keep on bowling until the people who regulate bowling say it isn't bowling any more!"

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

'What's the hardest thing about playing bowls?'

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

"Looks like beach weather."

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

Rowan Atkinson.

Kenneth Williams

"Well Jenkins... I dare say we should have brought a second flyswatter."

"I know you didn't order meatballs. That's the gravy."

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Drought in Sixth Week