Bright Side Believer Gifts

'We don't talk about 'failure' here, we call it 'deferred success'...'

'Perk up. Just think of all that interest piling up at more than 5% per annum.'

'Yes, Judy...looks like we're putting a good face on the impending bad weather.'

If life gives you lemons. . .

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

Fairy Vet

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'The Bear' pub, changed to 'The Bull.'

"Take. Your. Time!"

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'The dog doesn't like fishing so I'm taking the cat.'

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

'Hurry! There's not a moment to lose.'

"It was a mixed dayon wall street. Stocks were down, but bonuses were up."

"I don't want to sound desperate, but either you transform me with a kiss or I end up dissected in a ninth-grade science lab."

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

"I think it's time you ditched the phoney crown and admitted to yourself that princess or no princess, you'll always be a frog."

Give Thanks.

The Fountain of Youth.

'He hasn't been able to speak for a week, conversely my blood pressure is nothing short of a miracle.'