Bride Tribe Member Gifts

Bridesmaid holding up the Bride's dress.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'He does.'

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

The Happiest Hen in Acle

"I'm so good at this!"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"Do you, Halfomild Tellycelebrtipewhoo-hoo, promise to brush up on matters such as the Hadron Collider?"

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get a tattoo removed"

"Just one more round guys...then I've got to get back to the church!"

'You knew all the time that we were inseparable.'

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'