Bribe Broker T-Shirts

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Why markets crash.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.

"You know, sometimes I don't think of us so much as dealers in stocks and bonds as dealers in dreams."

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"He downgraded Apple."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

The merger hits a snag.

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'