Brew Banisher T-Shirts

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."

Yoga for Alcoholics

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"That's an everblue."

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'You've had enough!'

"Oh, for heaven's sake. Use the spray!"

'Pillow too soft?'

Bob takes care of this monster-under-the-bed business once and for all.

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

'Anything I can break has to go.'

Warning.

Ah, rain has stopped, now for the good life...

"You've just raided your last patch!"

"I say it's government-mandated broccoli, and I say the hell with it."

This is a new talking copier, you've pushed the wrong button, mutton head!

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

What year is this? Pardon? Aromatic. Full-bodied. Very approachable. Buttery. Swish swish swish. Yet with aggressive undertones, and an unforgiving aftertaste. Acidic after all. I should like another year. Something crisp yet dry. It's instant decaf coffee brewer with tap water! He's quite aggressive. And not so full-bodied. Pretentious people stink.

'I turn them loose in my cave. They're colorful, fun to watch and they eat bugs.'

"Careful, this coffee is so black, not even light can escape!"

"What are you going to do about it? Call an exterminator?"

"Wait, I just want to kill this fly."

"Why are you afraid of bugs? You outweigh the majority of them by 250 pounds."

Witness the power of this fully operational battle station

"You should've called me sooner!"

No Fly Zone.

'Now, let's just say the fan in Row C, Seat 4, is on your case. You just punch the coordinates into the computer...'

"Before you go out, I've warmed your wig in the microwave!"

Ace Advertising. Creative Dept. Hi, there! We'd like one slogan and a jingle to go … Easy on the buzzwords and no punch line on either!

"Do you sell insect-repellent?"

Cause phone solicitor's head to explode.

'Ere! I thought coffee was supposed to keep you AWAKE!'