Barfly Banisher T-Shirts

'You've had enough!'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Fried chickens.'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"Catnip for everyone."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"What would you like me to play next?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."