Brevity Aficionado T-Shirts

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

"His acceptance speech was only 140 characterslong."

Welcome Spring.

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

The Proust of Twitter

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"You're afraid of what?"

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

Editor. Short. Sweet.

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"

'Eggs Benedict. . . Aren't we feeling 1% this morning?!'

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

Knight

'Are these eggs fresh enough for you?'

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

'That one's for being a very brave boy!'

"Time to go, guys-It's been real…!"

Hamlet, the Mouse Version.

"You're a snob, Angélique!"

Blessed are the brief.

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'You should've seen how he stood his ground with the board of directors this morning. I swear, the guy must have icewater in his veins!'

"Stay together and follow my finger."

'You'll like Dana. She used to be a Rockette.'

"The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you're afraid to do." - Author Unknown

"Captain, this Brie is totally out of control!"

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

'I'm cured!'

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

'Abramowitz and Lowenstein, you've certainly earned this, but unfortunately we don't have enough room on the letterhead... Smith, congratulations!'

"You need to limit your Artist's Statement to 140 characters."

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.