Breast Health Gifts

'Doctor, I think they switched my results - this letter I received says I have dense breasts, but wouldn't that mean they'd be perkier - at least above my belly button?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

"We've made great progress!"

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Vlad the Inhaler