Women's Health Gifts

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

Kathy's hot flashes were becoming severe.

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

'It seems with every year my hot flashes get worse.'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

'Doctor, I think they switched my results - this letter I received says I have dense breasts, but wouldn't that mean they'd be perkier - at least above my belly button?'

Mammogram

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

"If you think global warming is bad, wait until the menopausal hot flashes kick in."

"Whenever someone tells me 'You Go Girl' I usually have to."

Suddenly Maude realised she was wearing the wrong panty liner.

Pharmacist to lady: 'I'm juggling your prescriptions as we speak.'

Life's choices (Tampons and Chocolate).

BEWARE woman with PMS

"Must everything be hormonal? Can't I just be in a bad mood sometimes?"

Planned Parenthood Protests

'Oh, so this wasn't a dictation typo for 'mammogram screening.' It actually is a mammogram screaming. Hmmm...'

'Well, Mrs.Gurkemiller...Either your female cycle has turned to European summer time, or you're pregnant.'

Gynaecology Dept.

'You know you've reached menopause when your granddaughter asks you when she'll be old enough to shave.'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"Is it that time of the month?..."

Ladies in pink, thank you.

Middle Aged and Enraged

"How do you think it went?!"

Menstrual Cycles: The bike shop for women

Morning after pill approved for over-the-counter sale. . . and not much else has changed.

Birth Control Methods...Or have Rush Limbaugh or a man like him as your guyfriend!

If Women Lose the Right to Abortion. . .

'...You wouldn't talk to me that way if I were planned parenthood!!'