Breakfast Crusader T-Shirts

"But they taught me how to make a good, nutritious dinner."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

You're the puff in my pastry!

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Back to work...

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

You've Had Enough!

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

A dog at the bakery.

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

Bake Sale! To benefit our town animal shelter

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

Dogs and Cake

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"Tell me the truth. . . what happens to all the leftover cake scraps in The Great British Baking Show?"

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"