Breakfast Banter Fan Prints

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'The Gingerbread man meets the Frozen Waffler.'

'I'll take the S. O. S. breakfast special...hold the shingle.'

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

Full English? I'm full already, thanks.

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

The market must be up

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

Propriety

Instant human... just add coffee

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

The Forgotten Men's Club

'You have inflammation in both eyes but as far as I can see, there's no information behind them.'

"I was going to wake you up with oral sex this morning, but you looked like you could use the extra sleep."

'Quit the act? That's not you, boss--that's the drink talking.'

'The cereal killer has struck again, Sarge.'

"Oh year?! Well, MY daddy is the largest of the largest animal species on earth!"

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."

What's the problem? I always have only one coffee every morning.

'Is it too early to start driving you out of your mind?'

Chemistry Trash Talk: 'I heard your mama thinks Pasteurized milk was named for Louis Pasteurize.'

'I guess if I looked half as good in the morning as her, you'd spend breakfast with me?'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

"I'd like the Continental breakfast."

Hey, look - they have launching facilities!

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

"You know what I learned today? I learned you can't tell your boss he's a jerk and blame it on autocorrect."

"That play last night..." "It was good." "Good." "Pinter wrote it." "Good, wasn't it?" "I thought it was good." "It was." "Yes. Harold Pinter."

'My foursome doesn't understand me.'