Bread-banter T-Shirts

"Whole wheat toast. Leave the gluten in."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Now I really hate poetry."

'No ice.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Join me in a Martini?

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

We'll have Manhattans...

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

Happy Hour

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"