Brazilian Football Fan Gifts

Footballers - Renaldo

I like the Jets...I guess

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Bears

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Raheem Sterling

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Football

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Kenny Dalglish

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Uptight End"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"