Brat Tamer Pillows

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

Beware of the Undergrowth.

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Education Guidance

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

Fly-fishing. - Favourable wind and the trout rising as fast as possible.

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

He collects a wide range of tackle and knows precisely how to use it.

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'

'There's a real reason that I hate Google, but right at this moment I forget what that is.'

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

"He used to fetch my paper, but now that I read online he's my IT support."

Mother of Dragons

'How would you like to help out at my campaign kickoff barbecue?'

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

'He micromanages all our trades.'

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.