Brat Tamer Pillows

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Education Guidance

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

Beware of the Undergrowth.

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

Fly-fishing. - Favourable wind and the trout rising as fast as possible.

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

He collects a wide range of tackle and knows precisely how to use it.

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

'How would you like to help out at my campaign kickoff barbecue?'

"He used to fetch my paper, but now that I read online he's my IT support."

'He micromanages all our trades.'

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'