Brassy Maestro Gifts

'You win.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Orchestra.

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

Violin Practise

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Viola player coming through!"

Charles Addams.

Hair Traffic control.

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'Are you done yet?'

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

Computer Music

Edgar Allan Poe

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

Two men discussing thier moustaches

'You didn't practice last night,did you?'

The Cartoonist's armoury

"It's garage music."

"Let's see him get out of this sonata."

'My Death Story....chapter one...'

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

Musical Prodigy

ACCOUNTANT-IN-RESIDENCE: "John, we're going to have to cut back on the cadmiums."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'You've had enough.'

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

'That brush - how many dpi?'

How to wear a false moustache.

The Violin Artist

"But this way I know where everything is."