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French horn.

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

Arturo Sandoval

"I seriously hope no one messed with my trombone while I was out."

Snail with Trumpet Shell Leaves A Music shop

'Oh hell, there's a jam ahead!'

In music school they never tell you what to do when you start to hyperventilate.

Tuba player.

"The foghorn is broken."

A cocktail in a tuba

"This is a blind audition, right?"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

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'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Gerald Ratner's return

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'You've had enough.'

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

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The Bargain Brand

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."