Branding Maestro Gifts

"Tom here is the public face of the company."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

'Almost finished.'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

SupermarketAwful Market.

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

The merger hits a snag.

'He struggles with having to do his own marketing.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"...And please let the merger do through!"

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

'Henderson, Sir - marketing.'

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'I tell you, Angela, there's no sight sadder than a desperate adhesives salesman...'

The Copywriter's Dilemma

When Cows Discovered Mowers

'As a new investor, you'll be interested to know that the value of stocks are determined by the collective wisdom of all buyers and sellers.'

Loyd Grossman

Skeleton model kit assembly instructions.

Just Merged.

'Overwhelm the facts with interpretation and have it on my desk Thursday.'