Brainy Counselor Pillows

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"Is it that bad?"

"My therapist plays with my brain."

Dog training

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

Nervous Student

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

Lost and Profound.

(I'm afraid someone is going to expose me as a phony, a fraud, … A complete charlatan.) (Uh, oh! He's on to me!)

Turning off the thinking lightbulb at home time.

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

Cutting down the Brain

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

Brain Exercise Video: "Okay, think...and stop...and think, and stop! Stay with me now! Think harder! Feel that burn!"

Stock Market Psychology: 'Buy with the leftside of your brain, sell with the rightside!'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

Brain versus Religion.

Off the wall legal advisor.

"There's gotta be something profound in here...."

'Try to keep a straight face when you plead 'not guilty'.'

'I'm terribly mixed up.'

"So, what makes you think I'm a therapist?"

I'm afraid I'm going to have to disciplines you, counselor. No problem, your honor. I just happen to have some furry handcuffs in my pocket.

Annual Amnesia Convention

In the physiology depat. Professor Rickman was known as being one lobe short of a limbic system.

They're brothers. One is very intelligent. The other is a baseball pitcher who constantly cheats. They both have a lot on the ball!

Beach psychiatrist.

Lawyer practical joke: 'DISBAR ME' taped on back.

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

Einstein.

Umbrella.