Brain Buff Gifts

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."

"My mom's getting me a tutor. That's kind of a personal trainer for the brain."

Traditional wisdom tells us that the brain takes on the shape of what it rests upon.

'Left brain dominance - 'Right brain dominance'

"It's all in your head."

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"I hear that women's brains are more active in the area involving self control."

"ADHD is a chronic condition marked by an inability to focus attention for an extended perio. . ."

"You don't need to register, sir - you were here yesterday."

"The doctor is a paranoia specialist -- He can't be bothered with self-esteem cases."

'How frequently are you hallucinating, Mr, Jenkins'

X-ray Psychology.

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

"We've discovered the part of the human brain that activates achievement is located right next to the section that governs how much you look out the window."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Bright idea

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

Gene Therapy

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

"Caption contest"

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

New Idea

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

= too complex

Rubik's ice cube.