Bragging Rights Lover Gifts

"Guess what Darling, Nigel's telephone number is exactly the same as my salary."

'These represent all of the career milesones I passed on my way to the top. Each trophy was created to my exacting specifications. Each picture, with world leaders, was carefully crafted using advanced phot-editing software.'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

A Salmon Lie

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

"The kids? They're great! Karen got retweeted by a famous YouTuber and Timmy just hit 16K Insta followers. They start influencing so quickly, don't they?"

A general points out his ribbons which signify films he has watched.

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

One-upmanship.

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

If it weren't for the Second, we wouldn't need to plea the Fifth.

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

'I've been a model, a film star, a soap star, a dress designer... next I'm going to write a children's book and after that...'

"Oh, we have a special hell for triathletes. It's just like regular life, except you can't talk about your triathlons."

United Reputation

"Your wife might be a brilliant cook, but my wife orders the world's best pizza!"

WPC

"Interesting. Have your lawyer call my lawyer."

'Thank you for calling civil liberties - your call may be recorded...'

Show-Off-And-Tell.

"I've half a mind to complain."

That was the first addition to my ego wall. It's my first loaded diaper."

'That was my first ever kill.'

Fishermen bragging - One has caught a diver

'Who said you could use my phone?'

"And this is a picture of me before I became a high net worth individual."

'I respectfully take the First, the Second, the Third, the Fourth, the Fifth, the Sixth, the Seventh...'

Woman winding wool on husbands outstretched arms.

I only whale for the sport of it.