Bragging Rights Champion Gifts

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

"Your wife might be a brilliant cook, but my wife orders the world's best pizza!"

Sizeamatta Arms.

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

International Women's Day: End Violence Against Women!

Free speech isn't cheap!

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

Ink in a prison made out of pens.

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

A Salmon Lie

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"Hey buddy! Come over here and draw me something about 'Freedom of Speech!'"

Free Internet Access

'Well, I must be going. I have some shopping to do with the money you saved by acting as your own lawyer.'

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

One-upmanship.

WEll, Mr. Thoreau, we're interested in publishing your views on government authority and personal freedom, but perhaps you could leave out some of the references to lima beans and turnips.

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

Women's Day is Every Day

"Guess what Darling, Nigel's telephone number is exactly the same as my salary."

"Oh, we have a special hell for triathletes. It's just like regular life, except you can't talk about your triathlons."

'I've been a model, a film star, a soap star, a dress designer... next I'm going to write a children's book and after that...'

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

Journalists in Egypt

Bertrand Russell.

That was the first addition to my ego wall. It's my first loaded diaper."

Freedom of speech.

Her older brothers always made her go down to the basement first. She wasn't afraid. The monster wasn't down there. It was upstairs, under her bed.

'These represent all of the career milesones I passed on my way to the top. Each trophy was created to my exacting specifications. Each picture, with world leaders, was carefully crafted using advanced phot-editing software.'

"You wouldn't smack the new underclass would you nanny?"

"In business, before you know the answers... you need to know the questions."

Womens March