Braggart Gifts

'That's nothing - I once nibbled a toe that was THIS big...'

"You're so good-looking and noble and strong! I can't believe how you fought off that shark!"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

Securing a Magnificent Salmon.

Army Barracks

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

Bargeman on a canal boat.

"It's non-negotiable."

"Donald, you’re in the C-suite now. No more smiley faces or exclamation points."

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

Employee Questions.

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

"Travis didn't believe in nouns."

Suggestions.

'Could you read it back to yourself? -- I hate to get into sloppy speech habits.'

A dog sits at her typwriter

'Well my anchor is bigger than your anchor!'

The fact you just swam 60 lengths might have impressed me if we weren't in a hot tub.

"Got your e-mail, thanks."

'It always amazes me how after a long summer break...with sea, sand, margaritas on the beach and an absence of the cut and thrust of the office...'

Loud Mouth Bass.

Proud parent of a partner at Barnow, Littman, McKenna & Huyck.

"No, I can't play piano, but I could fill that bowl with hundred dollar bills."

'Aw. Sarg sent me up here because I haven't bathed in two weeks.'

"I heard about the California wine glut and I'm committed to doing my part to end it."

'Look out... here comes the Trumpet Voluntary.'

'She's already gotten a job offer from Microsoft!'

'Albatross bragging about his latest catch...'

'Frankly, I'm getting a little sick of hearing about that round!'

"...and that one is a button for my coat."